Dr. Stem (Sithembile Mahlatini), founder of the Bounce Back Empowerment Conference, joins Jennifer "JJ" Sutton on Hello Chaos for an unfiltered convo on what it really takes to ditch the 9-to-5 and go all in as a founder. From growing up around family-run businesses in Zimbabwe to battling imposter syndrome in the U.S., Dr. Stem drops real talk on building resilience, finding your tribe, and learning to say no. This is the straight-up truth entrepreneurs need to hear—because bouncing back isn’t just a mindset, it’s a strategy.
Key Takeaways:
🏋️♀️ You’re Stronger Than You Think
Journaling and reflection helped Dr. Stem organize priorities and manage stress. Founders can benefit from clearing their minds and celebrating small wins.
🤝 Community Support is Non-Negotiable
Dr. Stem highlights how coaches, mentors, and peers helped her overcome imposter syndrome. Building a supportive network is key for founders.
🚀 Focus on One Thing at a Time
Trying to serve everyone led to overwhelm. Dr. Stem advises founders to narrow their focus and prioritize one core audience for maximum impact.
Timestamps
00:00 Introduction to Hello Chaos and Dr. Stem
05:12 The Rewards of Being a Founder
13:05 The Importance of Community and Support
19:16 Evolving Relationships as a Founder
25:46 Navigating Emotional Energy
30:55 The Power of Focus
37:19 Embracing Opportunities
43:26 Advice for Founders
48:08 Introduction to Chaos and Order
Connect with Dr Stem:
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/drstemspeaks/
Twitter https://twitter.com/DrStemahlatini
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dr_stem_be_encouraged_/
You tube https://www.youtube.com/@DrStemBeEncouraged
Twitter X https://twitter.com/DrStemahlatini
Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/pin-creation-tool/
Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@drstembeyoubefree?_t=8pdy6z3alhO&_r=1
LinkedIn http://www.linkedin.com/in/drstem-mindfulness-empowerment-leadingfearlessly
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/15VvCaDYQNE2UWXBxys6oR?si=6QMCNhOrRWGrHrFOCOBUrA&nd=1
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (00:01)
Welcome to Hello Chaos, a weekly podcast exploring the messy and chaotic minds and lives of founders, entrepreneurs, and innovators. Each week, I have the privilege to speak with founders across the spectrum, founders from different industries at various stages, from startups to mature businesses of all sizes. Our listeners get to hear the raw and the unvarnished viewpoints, those stories, getting insights,
incredible insights and what it takes to start and scale a business and really to become a better CEO and business leader. Today our guest I'm very excited to have on the show is Dr. Stem. I'm gonna try to pronounce her name appropriate but it's Sithembile Mahlatini and we call her Dr. Stem. I got it, I got it.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (00:53)
Yeah!
You got it!
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (01:00)
She is a licensed mental health professional. She is a host of her own podcast called Bouncing Back with Dr. Stem, where she shares insights on personal growth and mental wellness. Dr. Stem is also the founder of Bounce Back Empowerment Conference. She does workshops. She has a bounce back boutique and the bounce back book series. Welcome to Hello Chaos, Dr. Stem.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (01:26)
Hello, hello. Glad to
be here. Thank you so much. And you did well that pronunciation. What on?
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (01:31)
Did I do it? I? I love it.
So just start us out. Tell us about how did you get involved to becoming a founder, starting your own business, and really, like your whole brand around this bouncing back inside of your, you know, in the mental health profession.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (01:50)
Yes, thank you so much. So I'm originally from Zimbabwe and I've been in the United States this year, will be 38 years. Both my father and my mother owned like little businesses where there was a little grocery store and my dad was a real estate agent and he owned his own real estate agent. So I grew up surrounded by business minded people.
My grandfather, my mother's side was a business person as well in the Mutare area in Harare. So I grew up seeing all of that independence and business. Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (02:23)
You saw that, wow, that's so fortunate.
Yeah, I did not. I'm amazed when people talk about like, that was surrounded by that. Yeah, yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (02:29)
you
Yeah. So I think, you know, unbeknownst to me, I didn't know that that would be a really big influence in my life and career. So I came to the United States. I was supposed to just get a degree, four year degree, go back home, get married, have kids, be barefoot and pregnant. But that didn't
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (02:54)
You're like, nope, pivot.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (03:03)
What happened was when I finished my therapy, my master's degree in social work, I have a master's degree in social work, I was now licensed as a clinical social worker, which is a psychotherapist. And I worked for many different agencies. As I was working for the many different agencies, many different programs, what I realized was I was not a good employee. Something in me just said, I don't wanna work for anyone.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (03:15)
Okay.
You
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (03:30)
I don't want to be told what time to clock in and clock out. When I wanted to take a vacation, then I have to ask someone, I don't work on my birthday. And then they say, well, you got three other people with the same birthday, March 9th, they take their birthdays off. And that did it for me. said, we're going to have to do something here. So I started looking into private practice for mental health so that I could be a private practitioner.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (03:38)
Right.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (03:55)
And that was mostly because of that stubbornness. So that stubbornness also led to that independence that I can't do this, but there's something about me. And I realized that, no, I don't do well, you know, being told jump and saying how high acid, I don't do well in that. set my own rules, but then, you know, the other thing is financially, right? When you have a paycheck, it's, it's the same paycheck that you get from time to time.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (03:58)
Yeah.
Right. You set your own rules. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (04:24)
Whereas
now when you get a business, I learned that you get profits and you can have profits. You know, I'm in Baku because you are in control. I said, okay, you know, this sounds good. And the time I started, when I started off, it was global counseling coaching services, because I did counseling and coaching services. And within the years I changed it to global training.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (04:31)
Right?
Okay.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (04:51)
coaching and consulting services. That's the umbrella of the bounce back, you know, programs that I do. So I founded that probably, I think it was in 2005. Yes. A minute.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (04:59)
Yeah.
Wow, so you've been doing this for a while,
yeah. So what's been the most rewarding aspect of being a founder, starting, you know, kind of taking ownership of your world?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (05:20)
It is taking ownership of my world. I'll tell you the, you said the advantages.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (05:27)
The rewards, like what's been the most rewarding part of it?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (05:29)
The reward. Okay, okay. So
the rewarding part of it, you know, as I mentioned, right, I get to be my own boss and I love the boss of me because.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (05:38)
Yeah.
I was like, do you like yourself as a boss? How do you love your boss?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (05:43)
I love it because I get to
travel, I get to do what I want, I get to see the number of clients that I want and I also get to accept and deny clients that I don't want to work with. So it's really been, yes, it's been, you
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (05:48)
Yeah.
Yeah, you have more control. Yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (06:02)
a good reward in doing so. But let me tell you something. One of the things when I first started my career, I remember in school being told that the most difficult population to work with as a therapist are teenagers. And I vowed sitting in that class, said, I don't even want nothing to do with them because they are difficult, they are hard. And then I get out in the world and I start working and every program that I worked with, for some reason, they assigned me teenagers. So when I started my...
my business, you know, with the global counseling, you know, which is now it's now the bouncing back Academy, but it used to be the global, you know, the Dr. Stam Academy. I started off working with teenagers, right? So working with teenagers, one thing that I learned and I wanted to do for the teenagers as well as their parents was to be an example, to lead by example. So me owning a business also went beyond just having a career.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (06:43)
okay.
Yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (07:01)
but also expanding and getting into business. So that has been one of the most rewarding things that I've got because I have influenced and also coached a lot of young people and also people that, yes, yes, yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (07:14)
Set their foundation, right, early, yeah.
So what's been the most challenging part of being your own boss and being a founder?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (07:27)
There are many challenges. There are many challenges. And I think what happens is you get an idea and all of a sudden you get excited about the idea. So I was one of those people that said, I'm going to do my own business. I'll be in my own private practice and I'll do this. So I told the whole world that I'm going to do this. So once you do that, there's a pressure, certain pressure that comes through where people keep asking. So did you do it? When are you going to do it?
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (07:28)
Yeah.
Ray, how's it going?
Yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (07:56)
It's almost like
a condescending way to say, so you think you're going to do that? So now, you know, you have this weight on you to say, I got to do this because then they keep looking at me and they keep asking me and maybe I can't do it. And maybe I, I'm just too ambitious. And I heard that a lot. And if you were in business and a founder, you're going to hear that maybe you're too ambitious. So I heard that.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (08:09)
Great.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (08:21)
But then the pressure mostly was on myself because then I began to self doubt myself. I began to not believe that it was possible for me to do that imposter syndrome. But then I work with people that struggle with imposter syndrome, but I didn't realize that I was the number one person struggling with it. So if there's anything that I know I could say to people that are
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (08:27)
Yeah.
That imposter syndrome. Oof. It's awful. Yeah.
Yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (08:51)
in business or planning to find a business, make sure you have a coach and a therapist, mental health therapist and a business coach, those two. So I needed to practice that as well because then I am one, you know, with people work with me, they get two in one. They get a therapist, a mental health therapist professional over 25 years. They also get a business life and career coach in the same package, but I have two of them. I have my mental health therapist.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (08:57)
Hmm.
Yeah.
and
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (09:19)
and I also have my business coach. So the two of them helped me deal with the imposter syndrome where I needed to go back to the table to believe in myself, to believe in my capabilities and my abilities, and also to see the vision and believe that it is a vision that can be implemented and be helpful to people. Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (09:31)
Right.
Okay,
so were there any myths out there that you were, okay, this is what people have said, well, I mean, you grew up with it, with parents, of being a business owner and all that, that you were like, that is not how it works. Was there anything that hit on those levels of misconceptions, misperceptions of being a founder?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (10:10)
Yes, because then when you hear or even see the, know, mean, signatures, know, founder, CEO and everything, right, you don't see what's in the background, the work that's in the background, the fear that is in the background. You know, I mean, how scary it is to even, you know, have the business and have it work, the pressure that is there, the stress that is there, because then with my parents, great parents, I mean, you always saw them smiling.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (10:22)
Right.
Yeah, the pressure, ugh, yeah.
But they hid it, did
they hide it? They didn't reveal that part to you. Yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (10:42)
No, no,
they were always happy. And you you go to the little store or you go to my dad's real estate, they were doing well. But you didn't realize that behind it all, there were tears, nights where you cry yourself out. There were moments where you just don't believe that you got it in you. And then you work with other people and you see other people and they make it seem like, it's easy. Girl, you can do this. And then you sit down, you're like, but I can't understand it.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (11:03)
Right.
Great.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (11:12)
I don't know how to put this piece into that piece, to market this and to make sure that people come back. I don't know how it works. So those were the misconceptions because then you think that it's just going to flow. I open a business, it's just going to flow and fall into place, you know, but then you gotta have the money, you gotta have the time, you gotta have the...
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (11:12)
Right.
Right.
That's right, you gotta have the
systems and the structure and it's not easy to, and yeah, we went through that. even, I had 20 plus years of working with brands of all shapes and sizes. I worked in agencies before I started my marketing company and I kind of lived in the boardroom and worked at, but it was so much easier when I started the company, I was like, that's.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (11:37)
Yeah
Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (12:01)
it was a lot harder for me because it was my own brand versus I got to thrive and I don't know it was like I felt safer under somebody else's kind of agency brand and that was like a big aha for me of when I came in and started, know, my own company, the pressure, the imposter syndrome was like unreal. And yeah, it just, you know.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (12:13)
Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (12:30)
It was a lot more difficult to figure out systems and the financial part of it and how do you scale, how do you then help to lead teams under your brand? Yeah, it's.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (12:48)
But then
I'm sure you would agree with me that today, I think, after 20 something years in business, today we have processes that were not available to us when we started. So, yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (12:58)
yeah, information that wasn't just
access to things that were not. And really a lot of that stuff has just come in the last probably five years has like flooded the support for entrepreneurs and founders. Yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (13:10)
Yes, think so.
Yes. Yes.
So, you know, so it's really exciting. So I was happy to come here and discuss this because then the stories have changed. And, you know, I mean, if I were to start a business today, boy, you know, it's such a great time because there's so many resources that, you know, people can tap into and not make it as challenging or difficult as it was for us today.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (13:23)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right, exactly.
And I mean with incubators, accelerators, just like podcasts and books and everything. And I also think that, and one of the reasons we started this podcast and the media company, OrangeWIP, was really bringing that connective tissue in the entrepreneurial ecosystem to normalize conversations that imposter syndrome is real.
here's how other people have dealt with it, or the stress. And so you've gotta work on your resilience and mental wellness, because a decade ago, the suicide rate was the highest in founders and entrepreneurs. And I think, I know when I started 10 plus years ago, I felt so alone, until I started.
you know, five plus years into the business and I found a community and I was like, my gosh, I wish I had this community when I started. you know, like you said, having a coach, having a therapist, but also having this greater community of other founders, like missioned people that you can either hear from.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (14:43)
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (15:02)
you can hear their stories or you can connect with them at a local level. And we've heard this from founders that, know, it's interesting. I don't know if you have felt this, Dr. Stem, in your community, whether it's virtual or local, founders seem to give their time easier. Like I can pick up the phone and call.
here's 10 people that I've either I admire or I need you know either want to grab coffee or can someone jump on you know a team's call and if they're a founder they will make time you know out of their day for and and we that was on I've heard from different founders in these interviews it's like you know that's right like I give my time when people reach out but I've also noticed other founders give their time to just support.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (15:59)
Because we've been there. So we understand, yes, yes. And we understand the challenges that are there. And like you mentioned, right, with mental health, it's really important because then by the time that you hear someone screaming help or even saying out mentally, it's mentally exhausting. They're struggling, you know, with the stress, with the burnout and everything. So it's almost like we are a safety net for each other.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (16:01)
We've been there. We're like, you're not alone. Like, yeah.
Mm-hmm, it might be.
Yeah.
Right.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (16:29)
And it's like, you know, hey, come on. I mean, within minutes of just having to see other people there, it's like, I feel better already. You hear people say, yeah, I feel better already. We're like, we haven't even said anything yet. It just feels good to just know that there are other people that are supportive, but that also are in the same realm with you. Yeah.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (16:37)
Right.
Right. Yeah.
I love it. So this is, I'd love to get your perspective on this question. What do you like most about yourself that you're surprised other people don't recognize more in you?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (17:00)
I
Ooh, I'm pretty much an open book. Right.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (17:17)
I was like, I could see your injury, like, what are you talking about? I'm as transparent as it gets.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (17:19)
Very, very transparent,
you know. I mean, what you see is what you get. My yes is a yes, but the challenge, you know, always has been, you know, a no. And I find that in the people-pleasing way, I to do good and I want to be helpful. So then, you know, saying no was a challenge, you know, for me.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (17:39)
Yes
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (17:48)
And I think people didn't see that and couldn't see that, you know what, I mean, she's capable of saying no. And I'm thinking if I say no, then I'm mean, but I'm not mean. I'm just overwhelmed and I have a lot. a founder, everything is on your plate, whether you have people assisting you and everything, but the plate is full and it's your responsibility. Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (17:54)
Yeah, it's hard.
Right.
Yeah, the no. We
tend to find ourselves to be people pleasers, don't we? Gotta set those boundaries for ourselves. It's hard, it's hard, yeah. all right, give us some tips. How do we, yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (18:20)
open but I say no it's not hard
Well, here's the
thing, right? Here's the thing, right? I realized, so this year I'm 59 years old. I'm turning 60 on March 9th. So I start looking at the years, right? And you say to yourself, okay, I've been blessed to be 60 years around, right? But I don't want to be around for another 60 years because then I don't want to be in pain and not, you know.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (18:37)
my goodness, we gotta celebrate.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (18:56)
being functional the way that I am now. So the reality is you don't have, you know, this is me telling STEM, right? You don't have another 60 years around the world. So you've got to look around everything that you've been doing. Does saying yes to someone, you know, help you or hurt you? And it hurts me because now I'm having to have way too many things to do in addition to what I've said yes to when I don't have the time, right?
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (19:14)
Yeah.
Right,
right.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (19:25)
So that was
one. And the other thing is many a time, I think we are our own enemies because I make a lot of assumptions that if Jennifer says, Hey, can you come on the show? And I say, no, Jennifer, can't do it on the eighth, but can we try another time? People think, well, if you do another time, then you've really offended someone. But I'm not giving a time when I don't have the time, but I am my worst enemy if I assume.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (19:43)
Right.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (19:54)
that someone is going to get upset with me or someone is going to think I disrespected them. And if they do think that, I can't believe you just said no to me, the quick answer is to be honest with you, I want to say yes when I'm totally available. Make sure that I make the most of this moment and my yes be yes. So when I can't and I know I've got too many things, I'm going to say no, unfortunately.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (19:57)
Right.
Right.
Yeah, especially
if they understand the why. I think most, no, uh-uh, uh-uh, mm-mm, no. It's funny how your circles will be, your circles change as you grow and scale as a founder. Have you found that?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (20:24)
Yeah. but many people don't understand the why.
I have found that even best friends that were best friends are no longer around. The language was different and you start having people that see you as the old you, but as a founder, you continuously are growing and most of the time, yeah, it's growing to meet the needs of the people that we are serving. So it's no longer about me, it's about the people that I'm serving because then it's a service and with that service.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (20:48)
Yeah.
Mm.
Yeah, you have to.
Right.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (21:10)
I have to continuously make sure that I change to accommodate and make provisions for the people that I serve. And as you do that, you've changed. And yes, your tribal say, you've changed. You don't even have time for us. You don't even have time. And you literally even sitting down at the conversations, they're different. Like, okay, what are we talking?
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (21:18)
Right.
Yeah,
the relationship, or you've gotta go, they're now, they used to be in my inner circle, now they're kind of in that outer circle. And also sometimes the energy of those, you want to move them out of the circle, because they're not, like I think you said it of, is this benefiting me? Is this adding value to me?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (21:53)
Yes. Yes.
Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (21:56)
And I think we have to always evaluate that as founders to go, who's at that core? Who's making sure that they're safe, but it's protecting our energy or lifting us up? Because it's tough days sometimes.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (22:14)
It is, it is. And that's why I emphasize and also with the people that I work with, I emphasize journaling and writing things down because it helps us with the mindset reset because we have to do that all the time.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (22:23)
Yeah.
That's right, I started doing
that. I think I've said this on the show before, but it's completely been, mean, a couple of practices I've always done. I don't know if it's considered journaling. I saw, I need to remember what it was. Somebody on another podcast called it what I do. I call it a brain dump. But I just, if I get really overwhelmed, and it's usually about once a week, I just come in and I just, whatever's on my mind, I just,
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (22:33)
Yeah.
Yep.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (22:59)
completely just write it, you know, write it all down, just get it out. And then I can look at it and then I can start organizing it and compartmentalizing of, okay, well that's home stuff, that's kid stuff, that's, you know, work leadership stuff, that's, you know, client, I gotta serve that, this is business, you know, or community or whatever. then going, what's really priority? What's deadlines? But getting just out, just getting it out of my head.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (23:29)
That's it.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (23:29)
is
one thing, I've always done that, but I didn't know there was a, somebody else was like, there's a term for that, I'm like, oh, it's not just called brain dumping? Brain dumping, yeah. Oh, yeah, well, it's not any kind of, it's literally like, get the to-do list out of my head. And then I started this, I don't know, 12, 18 months ago, I'm looking at Chandler going, he's like, I don't remember when he started doing this.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (23:37)
But that's what it is. Journaling is brain dumping.
Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (23:58)
It's been recent and it was advice from another, you know, founder that was like just, cause I was like, look, I don't have time to like write. Cause I've got some other founder friends, they journal, they like, you know, can fill up a notebook a week. And I'm like, I can't do like, I don't have time for that. I can't do that. But they, you somebody was like, just three things, like just write these three things at night before you go to bed, clear your mind.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (24:00)
Yes.
Thanks.
Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (24:27)
and write the one thing that brought the most joy in your day. So what was the moment of joy? Number two was what's giving you the most anxiety? Whether it was something that's still lingering, I call it ghosts, like those brain ghosts in your head of what's lingering in the past? Or something I might be anxious, like I'm not looking forward to that call I have to make tomorrow. But they're like, just take a note of, and the third is like, what are you most looking forward to in the future?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (24:37)
That's it.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (24:57)
And it was interesting, I started doing it and just like, and then I don't know, six months later I started flipping back through just some of the notes and I found it kind of comical but just it was a, it was an aha reflection moment for me of wow, the things that I was really anxious about were so stupid. Like why was I anxious about that? Like that was not a bit, you know, it was just.
So it's pushed me to, know, they always say, you know, get comfortable with getting uncomfortable and, you know, being more fearless and, you know, doing that. And that has helped me kind of realize, you know what, I am way stronger than I give myself credit for. I also needed to realize I needed to celebrate some wins, even like the smallest steps and recognize those things, which might seem like silly to other people, but they were big deals for me.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (25:54)
Two
pill yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (25:56)
And just
to write, you just to give myself, you know, that space and that encouragement. And but I love that, that like I recommend that to anybody that's like, I don't have time to journal. Like you have time to answer three questions and like they're one lines. I mean, it's not like I'm, you know, writing a page for each one of those. It's literally like, you know, I made my daughter laugh might be the only thing that was a moment of joy. You know, I mean, it's, you know, and sometimes like we want a client might be a big thing, but.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (26:21)
Yeah.
Yeah, I go with it almost the same way. I like to write my day as what were the aha moments, what were the exciting and win-win moments, which ends up being like a form of gratitude of what I've agreed before, right? So I like those, because as I wake up in the morning, I'm looking forward to those surprises that I'm gonna get through the day.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (26:26)
Yeah.
Yes.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (26:55)
What are the aha moments that are going to come today? What are the surprises that are going to come today? Because then at the end of the day, I'm like, okay, what were the aha moments? Well, I was, you know, on a podcast where I talked about my ha. That was it, you know, because this definitely will go on my ha win-win moments, right? So as I focus on those things that are going well, I tend to expand on them. The more things come, because now I'm anticipating more good things to come.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (26:59)
Right,
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (27:25)
There is
now, you know, the moments where I sit down now and say, okay, what is bothering me? Because then there are times where you just come in, your energy is just not right. And so I take my book out and I say, okay, what is bothering me? What am I thinking? What am I feeling? Is there anything that triggered me, you know, to feel this way? Did I talk to someone? Did I read an email? Because then I'm trying to weed them out because then...
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (27:34)
Right.
Right?
Right,
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (27:53)
I talked to them.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (27:54)
like, ugh, I don't need to be around this person anymore. They bring my energy down.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (27:58)
If I
talk to Jennifer and I'm talking to Jennifer at the beginning of my day and then my whole day energy is shifted, I won't talk to Jennifer in the morning. We're going to talk at night or in the afternoon.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (28:06)
That's right. Let's
hope that's not the case. We're gonna pep you up for the rest of day.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (28:15)
You know it.
Yeah!
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (28:20)
but I like
that thought I was like, ooh, we could make, know, since our tagline here on the show is where, you know, where aha meets, you know, meets shit. So like the ahas and the shit. It's like, do we just make a journal of write down your ahas for the day, write down your shits for the day? That would be.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (28:35)
You know what? That is
the brilliant idea. It really is. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (28:40)
I'm gonna do it. My Chandler's over here going, yeah, duh. See, this
is, I laugh because I come up, you know, we come up with things, I'm like.
this brainchild or you know because we get so close to our own business that sometimes we you know because like I said I'm in marketing and stuff and it's like man it doesn't matter whether you've got 30 years marketing experience and branding experience the closer you are it's really hard to you know we I caught we we look we have our nose printed to a painting and we're looking at every brushstroke versus we can't step back and go
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (29:09)
Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (29:22)
let me see what that painting looks like. What is it? Is it, you know, is this abstract? it, you know, some other kind of impressionist? Like what type of painting? And you need somebody, like you said, you need a coach. You need other people that are looking at the painting because you are smack looking at those brushstrokes.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (29:42)
Exactly. The question that you also can add on your question is either whether it's a week, you can say to a person, you know what, when you look back in your week or just yesterday and you think of one aha moment and one shit moment that happened, that would just throw.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (29:46)
Yeah.
Right?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (30:03)
Yes, to say,
you think of an aha moment or even in the time that you're in your business, is there an aha moment or an shit moment that you
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (30:10)
Yeah, that's right. Like you need
to journal that. Well, because we always ask that on the show, like, what's been your biggest challenge? Like, what was your biggest like, shit, what have I done? Do you have one? Do you have a good story of a shit moment that you've overcome? Or maybe we've talked to some founders, they're like, well, I'm right in my shit moment. Let's like, let's talk through it.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (30:19)
No shit.
Yes.
I'll tell you what, I'm going to go with it now since, you know, we're suggesting this, right? One of my aha moments, as I mentioned at the beginning of the business, when I started, worked with teenagers, which I didn't want to do, but then ended up enjoying working with the, you know, with the teenagers. Yes. But as I was working with them, I realized that the mothers themselves, the professionals, the...
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (30:48)
Yeah, it's a gift.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (30:59)
mothers that had these ambitions now that they couldn't go for because now their parents now needed help as well. Hence now with the bounce back work that I do, I work with women empowering women because then I, and that's just my personal opinion that a mother is the central piece of any child who becomes now a mother herself and a father himself, a husband, a wife.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (31:24)
Yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (31:27)
but it all starts with a mother, right? So if we inspire, empower, and encourage the women to be the best version of themselves in careers, businesses, transitions in life, then we actually have raised well the children that will come under their wings. Yes, so that was an aha moment. Yes, an shit moment now is.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (31:37)
That's right.
That's so good. The big aha. That was a big aha.
Yeah, give me a no shit moment.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (31:57)
But the notion of do one thing at a time and focus on one thing, I didn't listen to it because I'm a social worker at heart. I'm a mental health professional. So I help all people. I counsel men, women, children, you know. So I wanted to serve everyone. And I'm like, what do you mean? Everybody needs to bounce back from life and from, you know, mean, grief, divorce, work.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (32:13)
Right.
Right.
Great.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (32:25)
aging, you know, I mean, we think we're young and then all of sudden you wake up your own. So it's like, OK, how do I work? But I started bounce back literally during the covid-19 because I didn't think that I was going to make it out and neither did a lot of us. didn't think we would bounce back. said, you know what? It's time now that we build that momentum that says no matter what, I will bounce back. Yes, I can. And yes, I will. So, you know, part of that, you know, all shit moment is.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (32:45)
Yeah, we're gonna bounce back.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (32:53)
coming back and focusing on one population so that, you now I work with women, I can focus on that. And then somewhere, somehow they usually will bring to the conferences, to the workshop a partner, their husband, I want you to hear this. I want you to understand this. But the focus is for those of you that are founders, focus on that one thing because then you can serve and we like to serve the people, but we gotta get paid.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (33:09)
Yeah.
That's right.
Right?
That is the name of the game, isn't it? We gotta get back.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (33:28)
Yes, we gotta get paid and to get
paid, focus on one population, one idea, because then once you are a founder, you are an ideas person and ideas fight to come through your mind. Like, I wanna do this, I wanna do this. You know, one of the old shit moments was, okay, I quieten everything else and just narrow it down and focus on one thing.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (33:33)
Yeah.
That's right.
That's right. Okay, so if you had to change two things about your business today, just right off the bat, what two things would you change?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (34:02)
Yes, always. yeah, always. So I think part of it is I've already started the change because part of it is mindset, know, reset that we do a lot in the bounce back because in bouncing back, you've got to have a different mindset, Hence the bounce back. Yes, I can bounce back. Yes, I will. So what I changed was, you know, I also established a new division, which is the boutique and online boutique.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (34:14)
That's right.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (34:31)
that has all of these clothing so that now it's not just, you I have to change my mind. I have to do it this way. I've got, so you, I wake up in the morning and I put this, you know, bounce back here. My mindset says, okay, whatever it is today, we've got to do it. And yes, I can. And yes, I will. Let me pick two things that I need to do or three that I need to do today at the end of the day, because many of us, right, we're still working.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (34:32)
all that.
Right.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (34:57)
full time
to pay the bills and also having these businesses on the side. So even if you're a founder in the business, I work in the business as well. So you've got to have that mindset of how do I improve on the business? So it's that improvement. I changed that. And also I was a candidate, as I mentioned, who was serving all populations and everyone. So now I work primarily with women only and men will message to say, so you think men don't like it?
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (35:18)
Everybody. Yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (35:26)
Everybody has, you know, I mean a path. I'm going to stay in this one path, you know, for now, because now I need to make an impact, you know, with, you know, the population. Yes. Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (35:35)
in that population. No, that's good. It's okay if
we met a year from now.
for your birthday.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (35:43)
61.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (35:46)
61,
you know, what would we be celebrating besides your birthday?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (35:51)
We will be celebrating the, you know, I have a membership program that I also started this year. It's called My Best Life membership. that, hey, the focus will be living on my best life. So we will be celebrating 500 members of My Best Life because we we want a movie. Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (35:58)
Okay.
Let's go, let's manifest that. 500 members, here we go, my best
life. Yes.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (36:15)
We want a movement, right? Can you
imagine we are talking about the support and energy of having other women who are in the same place and same struggles as you, but also there those that have the successes that you're yearning and wanting to have, and then everybody merges and we empower, encourage and inspire each other. So it will be a movement where we are dancing and celebrating victories and steps that people will have taken in the bounce back movement.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (36:30)
That's right.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (36:44)
So yeah, I call it the unstoppable movement. We want to be unstoppable, free and fearless and wealthy. So yeah, there's going to be wealthiness where people are like, well, guess what I manifested? Not only did I manifest the business of my desire, but I also now am earning and living a different lifestyle, which is equal to what it is. Yes. Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (36:45)
I love it. My best life, okay. Yeah.
Yes.
It's part of that, absolutely.
So if we had to, if you reflected on your founder journey, what is the word that would describe that journey? That one word, and why?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (37:14)
Yes.
Fear.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (37:25)
Fear. Tell me why fear.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (37:26)
Yes.
And with everything that I do, even the clients that I serve, when they report their win-wins, they always say, I love that you're fearless and you're, I'm like, I don't know if I'm fearless, you know? So, you know, fear in the sense that at the back of your mind, when you're doing all of these things, you know, I am a Christian, a believer, I'm praying that what I'm doing works.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (37:57)
Yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (37:58)
I'm praying that these people will buy into the vision that yes, you can and yes, you will. And no matter how far you fall, you can get back up and things will work out because some people will want to stick and stay in what it is that they want to do, that they are doing. But by the time that you meet with the coach, it's because some things are not working.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (38:17)
Yeah.
Right.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (38:24)
So,
you know, there's also that type of fall of just, you know, having to loosen people up to be open to new opportunities and new ways of doing the same business or the same careers that they are doing. What's the use of paying all this money when you're not going to be open to the change? So there's that fear on, you know, on the. So I worked through the fear, but let me tell you something. It's not something that you can totally wipe out.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (38:40)
Right. And you gotta just work through the fear.
Yeah, it's still gonna be there. Yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (38:53)
Some fears are situational. Yes,
some fears are situational depending on the situation, depending on what you're working, but it's normal. So the key is to normalize that fear so that it doesn't hold you back. Yes, or get you stuck, or get you stuck. Because then I come in as the get unstuck coach, so that we're not getting stuck.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (39:07)
Doesn't paralyze you. Yeah. Yeah.
Right.
That's right. Everybody needs a coach like that. I have one that pushes me forward. okay, so if you had no fears, what would you be doing? Would you be doing this exact same thing or is there something that you're like, man, if I had absolutely no fears, I would be doing this.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (39:23)
I know, right? Yes, yes.
Wow, at 59, I don't have no fears at all. I'm doing it all. I have the Bounce Back Empowerment Conference, you know, that I do annually. This year will be number six. You know, I started off, it's going to be in Melbourne, Australia. I know. So, we're going to be traveling around the world with the Bounce Back Empowerment Conference because then everybody around the world needs, you know, I mean,
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (39:53)
where is that? Where is that held?
Ooh.
That's a damn.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (40:11)
encouragement and inspiration. But the reason why I want to travel around the world, it gives me an opportunity to see the world, one, but it also allows other people that are, you know, maybe in my, you know, old days where I didn't take vacations, I was all work and no play. So I'm also encouraging other people to say, hey, let's go, let's go to Melbourne or let's go to the UK or.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (40:28)
Right.
That's right. We can make
this a vacation that's also a personal development. Yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (40:40)
Exactly.
So that's the reason why, you know, I'm doing those things there. I am an author of over 50 books by myself that I've written that are all on Amazon. If you just put in on Amazon Dr. Stem books, have motivational, inspirational and encouragement books that are there.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (40:48)
Whoa.
50?
Woman, okay.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (41:00)
But that's what I'm telling you, that, you
know, there's nothing that I can say I haven't done, I wish I could do this. I've done it
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (41:06)
I know. I've
just like over the break, I was laughing with our with our team. I came back. I was like, well, I built an outline for a book that has been it's on branding, marketing and advertising. It's, you know, trying to work. But I was like, I've done an outline of 25 to have written three, three now chapters and working through. But I was like, that's one of my goals this year is just to knock out that book, because I was like, I got 30 years, very unique experience and.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (41:18)
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (41:35)
I see a gap in the marketplace big time of the thinking, the discipline, it's just not there and it's not bringing it down to like CEO founder level to speak that language. It's just, yeah, so I'm excited about that. I'm gonna do it, but like 50 books, my goodness. Maybe I should break these up into three books.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (41:45)
Yes.
So it's interesting.
Yeah, but
it's interesting you say that, Because the best way to start, which is the way that I started as well, is to write in an anthology with other authors so that you can start your brain idea in there with one chapter. Because then three years ago, I decided, let me do the bounce back books. In the bounce back books, it's an anthology with about 20, 25 books each year. This year will be book number three that we are doing.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (42:15)
Okay.
Whoa.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (42:22)
So the first one, I hope you can see this here, see, bounce back, setbacks to comebacks. I have 25 authors that wrote a chapter in here. And what they did now, because I am a coach, right? But once you are a part of the bounce back book series, right? You can, I can help you now expand your chapters and put it out as a book. Yes. So I definitely want to, yes, I definitely want you to do that.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (42:31)
Yeah.
into that. Well, I'll give you a chapter.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (42:50)
And then last year we released this one here, from dreams to reality.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (42:53)
Okay, so that's
how you're okay. there it's it's it's all these stories. look at all that. Okay.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (42:58)
Yes. Yes. So
all of these are our, you know, authors that are there. And as you can see, mostly of them were men or women. But last year, men said, well, I want to be a part of it too. said, okay, come on, let's do it. Yes. Yeah. So this year we are writing one. It says from struggles to success. And guess who's struggling to finish a book? Jennifer. So we're going to have her write a chapter.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (43:12)
Right. That's right. Get on in. Okay.
That's right. We're gonna write a chapter.
I will write a chapter.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (43:29)
And then right after that, we have her whole book on marketing, because we need it, you know, out. Yes.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (43:33)
Yeah,
absolutely, we're gonna do it. Okay, so if you had to fast forward to your next chapter in your life, your journey, upcoming, what word describes that journey?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (43:51)
Do I just have to do one word? Can I do three, four? Unstoppable, unstoppable, free and fearless.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (43:54)
Okay, how many words do you want to do?
there we go.
I say unstoppable kind of sums that up. Because it's fearless. It's gotta it's gotta happen to be unstoppable. Alright, unstoppable, fearless. What was the other one? And free, free. Yeah. Fear free and fearless. I love it.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (44:05)
I
I feel this.
Yeah. Free, free and fearless. Free and fearless. Yes. So the question,
the question now becomes in everything that I do. Am I being unstoppable? Am I free? Am I enjoying the journey? Am I enjoying what I'm doing and who I am with?
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (44:37)
You are.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (44:39)
And then am I being fearless? And fearless means producing action and having results and changing lives and getting feedback and testimonials. So that's the part of that fearless where now you're impacting more people than you ever dreamed of. And you're also getting out of your own comfort zone. So Unprovable, Free and Fearless sums it up for me.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (44:46)
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love
it. My word for 2025, I feel like the last couple, it has been a rebuild journey for me, but my, my, you know, 2025 and it might go beyond that, but it's ascend of ascend of like, I'm transforming. I've got to like rise above. I've got a, I've got a lot of energy and like, it's time to let it out. Like let's yeah. Unstoppable is a much more energetic where I'm not enough. I'm there yet.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (45:11)
And yet...
Yes. Ascend.
Yes. That's what we do. That's the shit part of it. We want to do it. We want to do it. We're founders. got this idea. And shit. Okay.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (45:28)
but I'm working towards it.
That's right.
We gotta get it done.
this was so fantastic. I loved this conversation and it goes by so fast. Before we go, okay, hold on, couple things before we go. Is there a piece of advice that you were given as a founder, business owner that you really took and you're like, this is something every founder needs to know? Is there any advice or insights that you've been given that you wanna share?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (45:52)
Okay.
without even people knowing it, that I had this inner fear in me that prevented my light to shine, that prevented me to do what I believed I could do, people in one way or the other reminded me and they said, you've got greatness in you. There's something in you that is just big, bigger than what you perceive or what you see, but we just see that you're not even believing that you're this good and you really got this gift.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (46:34)
Yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (46:39)
So for everyone, there is no idea of being a founder that comes to someone and saying, maybe I can start a program for children. Maybe I start a podcast and interview this population. Maybe I can do that idea comes because you've got it in you to do that. There is also a path that is already ordained for you to say, you're going to be doing this here. So.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (47:03)
Right.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (47:06)
Why be afraid of something that has already been planned that you're supposed to be doing? I have learned to enjoy the ride, to enjoy the journey. So I say to everyone, you've got it in you, believe in yourself, keep doing what it is that you need to do and ask, why did I get this idea? Because there is somebody who's waiting for that idea. Yeah, just do it. Nike.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (47:24)
Right.
And just do it, just do it. That's all.
This episode was sponsored by Nike. We want them to, yeah. Well, shout that out. So I'm amazed we're out of time. And I've loved this. I love this show and this conversation. Before we go, how do you want people to connect with you, find you, learn more about you? Where should they go?
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (47:36)
We wish, we want them to sponsor it. Yes.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Yes, thank you for that question. People can go to bouncebackacademy.com or drstemi.com and there you will find information about becoming a co-author with us. I only have a few slots that are left. So please come and join us and be part of the struggles to success journey that we're writing about.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (48:18)
so lately.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (48:18)
I definitely
would love to meet with you, anybody that wants to be a co-author and we can talk about, you know, what it entails. We also have information about the, you know, My Best Life membership, because women, we're starting to gather in My Best Life, because we're gonna make this a best life for each one of us, yes. But we only have so many summers left, let's make the most of it. We are entitled to being healthy, happy, and wealthy. So let's do it together.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (48:35)
It is. We only have so many summers left.
That's right. And that's Dr. Stemme, that's drstemmie.com. Isn't that the website? Okay. We'll make sure we tag everything too. And, yeah.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (48:54)
Yes. I forgot, Jennifer.
I also have a podcast where I'm looking for people to come in and be guests with us. It's Bouncing Back, podcast with Dr. Stem. Information is again on the website, on you coming in, but you can send me a message from the website as well. Yes, you will. Thank you.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (49:15)
Right. I will, I'm gonna come on that show. We're gonna have this conversation again on your podcast.
I love it. So thank you for hanging out and for everyone listening and watching. Thank you for joining us. This podcast will be available on your favorite podcast platform. So subscribe to Hello Chaos. Give us a five star review on Apple or Spotify, we love it.
DrStem Sithembile Mahlatini (49:24)
Awesome, yes, I will do that.
Jennifer "JJ" Sutton (49:43)
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